Three Legged Dog heralds 'a safer snug'

Landlord Des sickened by 'scrabble playing water drinking time wasting whingers' has introduced the three legged terror 'Bobbie' - on loan from The Manor House. 'This'll shake 'em up'

Left: Bobbie with 'Big Hand'n'hair' Des sporting a relaxed afro. Nice.

Bus service: "Crazy Talk"

Valley Bus service comes to the defence of its drivers

On hearing that every vehicle parked in the valley has now been hit by the bus, a spokesman for the service aged 116 said:

"The drivers are not all dangerous blundering careless lunatics! Some are, yes. Not all, no. That would be crazy talk. Madness complete madness. I hear this all the time, it's crazy. Completely Bonkers. Utter tripe. Zippy flaming zannie-a-zong-zong. Chirpity chirp chumpin' sozmix. Ring-a-toot-a-doo bo. Hoot zoop. hootie zoopie. hoot. honk. Honk. HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK...........".

Late Night Chemist comes to village.

The Plough and Harrow Family Fun Day was a huge success.

Star attraction Pharmacy Tom seen here in his trade mark bowler kicked up a rhythm storm assisted by Wilmington 'Party Hat' Tim.

The Women Only Paper Hat Game turned ugly when First Prize was awarded to Snug Club Law Man Abbie (pictured bottom left), who dismisssed the altercation as ''simply a matter of handbags at twenty paces".

Doctor Emma's Choco Plug

Local beauty Doctor Emma has launched The Choco Plug. Pictured above with an early prototype. Simply dip in warm milk for a dreamy choco drink/lolly.

"I'm delighted with the success of my 'Plugs'. They've proved amazingly popular with the locals, though many claim that 'they make walking difficult'."

Dr Emma of the Plough and Harrow

Delighted locals: 'Delicious, nutricious and liberating'.