Glove and Apple Share spells disaster for Cuckmere Chumps

Cuckmere Chumps 3 : Livery Ladies 17

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The Cuckmere Chumps suffered defeat at the annual Frog Firle Rounders Match at the hands of the Livery Ladies. "I feel utterly retched" said Richard, pictured here sharing gloves and an apple with Karr O'Line of the Livery Ladies.

Snug Club Launch TransGender Knitting Circle

Following the 'muted' success of the Book Club. Snug Club Members have been exploring the combined delights of cross-dressing and cross-stitching. Landlord Des, pictured centre, said "Finally I can shift that 'job lot' of Pop Socks".

Birthday Shock! - Flinty Pete Grows Two Beards in Record Time.

A Litlington Village record was broken earlier this week when the popular party game 'Fast Beard Fast' was won (for the 76th consecutive year) by Flinty Pete, in a time of 37.42 seconds, 17 hours faster than the previous record.

Double Beards have become increasingly popular in the village amongst The Fast Set and Barman PC Dave, 16, said "This stylish trend is set to take village by storm"

Quick thinking saves sword

The unwholesome alliance of heat and high spirits causes Sally's sword swallowing trick to go really rather badly wrong. Quick thinking Graham, with no previous experience of matters surgical, managed to retrieve the sword. Details withheld to save blushes.

A smiling Sally 23 said "Both tonsils and appendix were removed during the procedure".

Lawn-Surfer Head Wave

A big welcome to Charlotte 'Crazy Eyes' Chattelbroom who is hoping to bring 'a taste of Ginger' to the village. She is seen here with West Dean village wildcat Brian sporting a Lawn-Surfer head wave. Both are wearing edible neck furniture.

MUGGY turning CLAMMY

SNUG 3 PLOUGH 17

Match Report: The strongest set of referential cohesive links could be found in the game and the game’s most important elements: a total of seven supra-sentential cohesives; two mediated ties, (which could only be resolved by referring to a previous essential ie. that exophoric reference crucial to our understanding of who The Striker is), and; an anaphoric reference of conflict between cohesive links of the demonstrative reference and coherence in the form of exophoric knowledge of football.

Weather: Muggy turning Clammy.

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

Crikey - take a close look at these beastly nasties doing the rounds in the valley.

GARDEN CLEARANCE

MY ARSE

HEALTH WARNING: Do not approach. Useless dimwitted crooks.

Snug Club Launch Book Club

The Honourable Members of The Snug Club launch The Book Club, immediately celebrated as

'really not entirely bad at all'.

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WANTED VAN MAN

'MERLIN' a wanted man

A late night van man slammed his van into an ancient flint wall of The Plough and Harrow. And ran leaving only bits of his paintwork behind.

He answers to the name of Merlin (yes, really) any info please contact Des at the Plough and Harrow.

Des and Kate owners of the Plough and Harrow are 'concerned

Nobby finds cat

Nobby you're a star. New Scarf, eh?

Horse Over Woman, Man Over Horse.

Horse Over Woman
There is a legend that on the same hill as the White Horse stands Eve, companion to The Long Man of Wilmington. AND...

Man Over Horse

The Long Man of Wilmington, some say it was carved over an earlier 9th century horse.

Source : 'Local Heritage Initiative'.

Black Cat spotted

"A huge black cat emerged from nowhere and rather arrogantly walked across the road 30 yards away. Its eyes reflected bright yellow in the lights."

Paula Skelton

Witch Hounds

"There's one thing I dare not do; I'd be afear'd to walk through that girt valley o'litlington after dark. It's a terrible ellynge place and a gurt black ghost hound walks there o'nights".
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Sussex Black Dog ghosts, the common name for which are 'Witch Hounds'.

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Despite sightings of Black Dogs, it was once a superstition in Sussex the ghosts of dogs are only seen by other dogs.

The Sussex historian M.A. Lower once said :

"Nearly every unfrequented corner has its Demon in the form of a Black Dog".

Litlington has two ghostly dogs, though only one of them black. The black dog ghost here has been seen several times on a full moon running from the Downs through "Town Fields" to look over the flint wall of the road before running back again. The second dog is white but had a reputation of being an omen of death or bad luck. The dog and his master, an heir to a local estate, were murdered by some farm labourers to supply them with drinking money. The Dog and his master were buried at the side of the road and the ghost of the dog appears on Midsummer Eve every seven years.

Just south-east Ditchling is a spur of the Downs called 'Blackdog Hill' which is haunted by the ghost of a headless black dog.

Source text: Sussex Archaeology & Folklore

Mad Dog Eats Cat

Plough and Harrow crisps, watch what you're eating! This fine piece of spooky evidence was luckily snapped before being wolfed down by kitchen wizard 'Mad Dog' Greg.

'Mad Dog' , after crisp:

Now we're cooking!

Smokin'. You have to look carefully ... it's in the bushes, on the left above the bloke lounging. I'm convinced.

John The Chef with Champion Mouser

A proud day for Chef John

Amazed locals : "not a mouse left in the village!"