Glove and Apple Share spells disaster for Cuckmere Chumps

Cuckmere Chumps 3 : Livery Ladies 17

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The Cuckmere Chumps suffered defeat at the annual Frog Firle Rounders Match at the hands of the Livery Ladies. "I feel utterly retched" said Richard, pictured here sharing gloves and an apple with Karr O'Line of the Livery Ladies.

Snug Club Launch TransGender Knitting Circle

Following the 'muted' success of the Book Club. Snug Club Members have been exploring the combined delights of cross-dressing and cross-stitching. Landlord Des, pictured centre, said "Finally I can shift that 'job lot' of Pop Socks".

Birthday Shock! - Flinty Pete Grows Two Beards in Record Time.

A Litlington Village record was broken earlier this week when the popular party game 'Fast Beard Fast' was won (for the 76th consecutive year) by Flinty Pete, in a time of 37.42 seconds, 17 hours faster than the previous record.

Double Beards have become increasingly popular in the village amongst The Fast Set and Barman PC Dave, 16, said "This stylish trend is set to take village by storm"

Quick thinking saves sword

The unwholesome alliance of heat and high spirits causes Sally's sword swallowing trick to go really rather badly wrong. Quick thinking Graham, with no previous experience of matters surgical, managed to retrieve the sword. Details withheld to save blushes.

A smiling Sally 23 said "Both tonsils and appendix were removed during the procedure".

Lawn-Surfer Head Wave

A big welcome to Charlotte 'Crazy Eyes' Chattelbroom who is hoping to bring 'a taste of Ginger' to the village. She is seen here with West Dean village wildcat Brian sporting a Lawn-Surfer head wave. Both are wearing edible neck furniture.

MUGGY turning CLAMMY

SNUG 3 PLOUGH 17

Match Report: The strongest set of referential cohesive links could be found in the game and the game’s most important elements: a total of seven supra-sentential cohesives; two mediated ties, (which could only be resolved by referring to a previous essential ie. that exophoric reference crucial to our understanding of who The Striker is), and; an anaphoric reference of conflict between cohesive links of the demonstrative reference and coherence in the form of exophoric knowledge of football.

Weather: Muggy turning Clammy.

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

Crikey - take a close look at these beastly nasties doing the rounds in the valley.

GARDEN CLEARANCE

MY ARSE

HEALTH WARNING: Do not approach. Useless dimwitted crooks.